birthday blues

in less than 2 hours, i'll be another year older.

birthdays are supposed to be a happy event, right? but right now, i can't really explain how i feel. tired. kinda lousy and weak and sick. a bit frustrated i guess. a hint of shame. confused too. and these 2 really huge zits on my face aren't helping either.

i feel...old. that's the point. but because i'm happy most of the time, those feelings i mentioned above are all suppressed until such a time that it would all manifest itself at the same time like today. thus, letting me feel like i didn't achieve a single thing for those earlier adult years that have passed.

aaargh..i need to brush off these negative vibes. i hope tomorrow will be a brand new day.