i'll try to make this the last time

i read this paragraph over someone's blog...

Be very careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib...Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior to...But from the side to be equal with. Under the arm to be protected. And next to the heart to be loved.

...and it hit me. real hard.

you see, i cried a whole lot this afternoon. for some reason i can't fathom, i became very emotional over something so trivial. so trivial it is that i don't wanna post it here because of shame.

the crying went on and on up to the point of me being hysterical. i even hurt my b coz i pushed him away while he's trying to console me. and i hurt him even more when i tried to break up with him.

i don't know what evil spirit tried to take over my body. i went to church and asked guidance from the almighty to calm my soul and cleanse my mind from whatever it is that's trying to take control of me.

nothing beats the power of faith, really. coz immediately right after, i felt renewed. and i felt super duper guilty of all that i've done.

so, what does that paragraph have to do with my story? b, in reality, has never made me cry. it's always my over analyzing things that's pushing me to cry. plus the fact that i'm a really really emotional person, just seeing someone cry on television is enough to activate my tear ducts.

B HAS NEVER EVER HURT ME IN ANY FORM. not emotionally nor physically. he never cheated. he never went out w/ out telling me where he is. he never says nasty things behind my back. he never leaves me even if i'm pushing him to. he never lifts a single finger at me. he never walks out on me even if i'm being such a bitch. he never says bad things at my face. he always encourages me. he always tries to give me what i want. he always waits for me even after 4 hours w/out doing anything. he's always patient when i throw tantrums aka sumpong. he never wants to see me cry. he always says sorry even if it's not his fault. he always sees the best in me. he never fails to forgive me. he always appreciates me. he never fails to say he loves me. he always says he's the luckiest guy on earth coz he found me. he always wants me to be happy. he's always proud of me. he always says i'm beautiful and i'm the only girl he wants to spend his lifetime with. in short, he loves me with all his heart.

i am so lucky to be with him. yes, i love him so much. frankly, with this bitchy attitude of mine, i don't deserve him. but this is probably the last time that i'm gonna hurt him and myself.

i'm gonna repeat the paragraph...

Be very careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib...Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior to...But from the side to be equal with. Under the arm to be protected. And next to the heart to be loved.

God really speaks to us in different ways. it was no coincidence that i chanced upon the blog and read the above text. it was God's way of telling me to pull myself together. it only took this paragraph for me to realize that i have found such a precious gem in the form of my b. he never walked on me nor be superior to me. he protects me in any way he can. and he loves me so dearly. other women will have many tears while looking for that perfect guy to love them. and here i am clutching that perfect guy in my hands and i'm still crying? from now on, i will try not to. because i love him dearly. and i will show to the world that i truly deserve this precious gem.