just recently, i learned how to be manhid. or so i thought. i've been pushing myself to set emotions aside and not get affected with all the negative comments or actions thrown my way. i almost succeeded. the first few weeks were fine, i can just shrug of any pagpaparamdam here at home and still go on perfectly with my day. i realized just now that i'm still not manhid. those emotions are just kept somewhere in my chest until it fills up and explode. the most difficult part is when it almost reaches the brim because it affects my mood and concentration not only at work but also in dealing with the people around me.
i've just had another crying spell today and it feels good to empty out the chest. it's now redeemed and ready to face another set of challenges. i'm thankful that i had the chance to open up and let the negativity out. tomorrow will be another fresh start.
every little thought or act can have a ripple effect. one hint of negative vibe and it spreads out to every little aspect of life, whether you like it or not. while i think that it's best to stay away from the bad forces, most of the time it's easier said than done.
i fervently wish for support and understanding. kind, inspiring, and consoling words. concern and willingness to help. if it's not too much to ask. give me that and everything will fall into place, every good thing waiting to happen will finally come true. bring on the positive ripple.
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