friday ramblings

i'm finally done with gossip girl and it'll be months til the next season starts so for now i can get back to my regular internet hours.

i have a few thoughts lingering in my mind and it's making my 3 day headache more reason to stay. it may not be a happy thought but i just want to vent. and maybe i thought i'd ask you, dear readers, some questions so i can see if i am just normal and not a total biatch that i think i am.

but then again, maybe not. i don't wanna aggravate things as i have already did. but just let me get this out of my system. because when i did a while ago, the one i'm talking to left me with no reply whatsoever.

the thing is, i felt badly disappointed. once. again. i knew i shouldn't have expected too much which i thought i did. i tried to push the excitement in the back of my mind but the truth is, it's still me. the one who loves surprises and romantic stuff and all, one who looks forward to special days and promises, and one who turns to a monster when those things she's looking forward to do not materialize.

i tried not to have a fit. instead of getting mad and furious, i stayed calm and just go with whatever happens with the rest of the day. but i can't hide my disappointment and it somehow managed to show in the first words that came out of my mouth, the tears that i can't quite control and in my lack of energy from that moment onwards.

tell me, is it normal to feel this disappointed? it would be hard for me to give you the whooole picture of how i felt this way. but..yeah, i guess i'm probably immature like some people think i am.