7/1/07

my parents have been strict with me since i was a child. i know that being the only girl among 4 of us siblings, the whole family treats me as their princess and they only want what's best for me. now i'm already in my late twenties and with the experiences i had for the last 10 years of my life, i can proudly say that i already know how to handle myself well. most specially during the time that my parents weren't here for more than 2 years and i was able to take care of my younger siblings which, i think, was one of the greatest achievements i had.

i understand that i'm still under my parents' roof and that there are these rules i have to live by as long as i'm still here. my mom is very very conservative despite the fact that she conceived me before they wed. she actually doesn't want to admit it and doesn't realize (or just doesn't want to realize) that i know how to count the months from their wedding date to my birth date. i do try to understand her as much as i can even if she's becoming unreasonable at times. she probably doesn't want me to suffer the consequences like she did or maybe she's afraid of the shame i would put in their name if ever i do get pregnant before i get married. i know that it's been their major concern when they went out of the country and left me with a brother and my bf. they came back..and here i am still single and more importantly not pregnant. i thought i've proved to them that i'm worthy of their trust and the pregnancy issue may now rest it's case.

not.

and it's probably not only shame that they're concerned about. i don't know what's the reason for asking me a question that i don't think i need to answer. i also don't think that it's appropriate to ask such a thing. all i can say is that i am 27. i know what's right from wrong and i love myself enough not do things that can ruin my life. i love love love my parents and i greatly appreciate the guidance they've been giving me. but it's really offending to be delving so deep into the very private and personal aspect of my life. i'm sorry, i just can't help but cringe with disgust at the thought of them discussing such things. i don't ever wanna have that same uncomfortable kind of conversation ever again but the truth is i respect them so much and i don't know how to tell them off. sigh...

2 comments:

:P said...

you know, my parents were overprotective of me. i say OVER because they were way beyond protective. in a way, they stifled my independence. I was unsure of the world and i really had to toughen up on my own and when i was in college. it was really hard. now i wish that i learned about the world WITH them and not alone. i wish that they let me learn, have a few scrapes and bruises so that I could fly.

now that i'm a parent, i'm trying not to smother my boys. i want them to enjoy life, to live life and to dream big. i know my parents only raised me the best way they knew how but i know i will not follow in their footsteps.

=D
take care!

beevs said...

that's exactly my sentiments. like you, i know i won't follow my parents' footsteps when i have kids of my own. lucky you, you have 2 boys..parang ang hirap lang kasi pag girl. hehehe.