birthday blues and semi-blast

i am officially OLD.

i have to tell you, my birthday always makes me emotional. and this year is no different.

i was dead tired from the day before. it was a sunday but i stayed the whole day inside the room, in front of the laptop - loading, checking and matching over 6 thousand records one by one with the help of my b. i finished around 10pm realizing we haven't had dinner yet. i tried lying on the bed while b prepared dinner but i was fidgety - which one probably gets when staying inside the room and working the ass off the whole freakin' day. i decided to call home to somehow chase away the blues and talked to my mom whom i realized that i already miss.

it was the birthday eve. and somehow i felt..weird..a mixture of bits of different emotions. there's this little part of me that wants to do something special, something spontaneous. but there's also this part of me that's thinking of all the expenses we'll be having a few weeks from now. the better part of me won but it didn't make me happy. somehow i went to bed thinking that something special will happen tomorrow. since i am a breakfast person, maybe i'll wake up to a goood breakfast waiting for me at the table. that was my last hopeful thought.

it was the birthday morning. i woke up with my cute, albeit mouth half open, b sleeping beside me and that put a smile on my face. i know he is the best gift i have but i can't help but

......
NOTE: because i'm alone here, i grabbed this opportunity to complete this birthday post. and since this is more than a month delayed, i really can't remember what i was supposed to write after that paragraph above. but upon reading it, half of it is probably the hormones talking. i'm more on a positive mood today so i'll probably end this with a lighter note.
......

while almost every one i know celebrated their big three-oh with a blast. i, on the other hand, just had a semi-blast. the birthday lunch was spent at the family's home with a big bilao of my fave pansit ng malabon, 2 andok's roast chicken, mom's leftover kare-kare from the night before and a half gallon of ice cream. relatives from the province of dad's side went over to see the newly renovated house and celebrated my birthday with me with another big big bilao of pansit malabon and tuna sandwich. i don't know most of them but it was still fun, nonetheless, courtesy of my b who's taking pictures of everyone. dinner was spent with my b at circles shang makati where i got a smiley cheese cake and a hamper containing a lotion and a shower gel (i think).

i guess the only thing i've ever been desiring for so long from my b is the element of surprise, of sweet gestures no matter how cheeesy it may seem, of making my birthday special one way or another. yes, we did went out that night for a dinner supposedly at red shangri-la. but simply dining at expensive restos, in my opinion, is not well thought of. in short, no effort. expensive doesn't mean romantic. i'm really not that kind of girl whom you can your flash money and i'll go gaga over you. honestly, i'd rather eat somewhere i've never been to in tomas morato. adventure is what i want, baby. i'm thinking that no matter how i put it, b simply can't get it. his excuse, wait til i'm all his, and that's when he'll make me "well thought of" surprises.

oh well, i am still hoping. now, we'll be having another event to celebrate every year aside from our birthdays. and i'm really looking forward to fun fun way of spending it.