thoughts and fragments from the past 24 hours

- my brother was very sick when i arrived home last night. because of his swollen reddish face and a constant fever of 40 degrees since the afternoon, mom and i decided to rush him to the hospital at 1 am.

- stepping into the ER brought flashbacks of that hospital sidetrip we had 3 months ago when my mom had an anxiety attack on our way home from la union. during the time we were there, a 12 yr old child whom doctors frantically tried to recover died from drowning.

- i originally wanted to become a doctor when i was a child because i wanted to save lives. but as i've come of age, i realized i couldn't continue to be a doctor because i'm a very empathic person. if seeing a homeless man sleeping on the street already breaks my heart and makes me teary eyed, what more if i'm constantly surrounded by people suffering from injuries and illnesses with their equally grieving families around.

- i'm not used to seeing the men in my family sick and helpless. last monday, b was also not feeling well and it brought my spirits to a dismal low when i felt his cold clammy sweat while he was lying weakly in bed. these men always seem to have that strong, dependable personality in them that it's quite hard visualize them transformed into a powerless individual in an instant.

- i stayed in the hospital to accompany my brother while he's being examined and observed. after uniralysis, blood test, 2 paracetamols via IV, and 2 bottles of dextrose for hydration, bro still has high fever and doctors still can't determine its cause. this morning, he was advised for admission to be further observed but mom opted to send him home.

- i really should force myself to drive. mom pointed out that me having driving skills is necessary for emergencies like this. oh, she's so damn right.

- before i went home, bro was given his second bottle of dextrose which will take another 2 hours to consume. mom just got back from home so it was my turn to go. i walked from perpetual to ocampo, an alternate tryc station that will get me home.

- walking is probably the closest thing i can ever get to exercise that's why i gladly welcome every opportunity to do so. i liked my early morning (7am) walking experience today in terms of the cool sunrise air and the working of my leg muscles at such an hour (because i rarely wake up before 8am and even if i do, the farthest i can get is from my room to the kitchen). what i didn't like was the garbage smell in some parts of the pavement. ugh!

- last night, i haven't got any sleep at all. going to bed at 8am this morning means that i was up for 24 straight hours. i know some people would've slept the whole day away. but me, i was up by 12 pm with roughly 4 hours of sleep. i had lunch, showered and went to work. i wasn't in the mood for working though. honestly, the only reason i had the energy to go to work was i was looking forward to a promised date afterwards. sadly, it didn't push through so my energy level dropped resulting to a lousy lousy working behavior.

- a bomb explosion rocked the glorietta mall this afternoon. some people were dead and about a hundred were injured. for the first time in months, i watched the news again. it's really such a horrible sight.

- why do some people don't have any conscience at all? why can't they realize that hurting innocent people will not get their point across?

- as usual, people from the government is taking advantage out of this misery. just hours after the explosion and already it's turning into a political fiasco.

- all we can do now is pray. for the killed, for the injured, for our families, for the government people, and for our country.