a sad story

i will never forget this day. there is real truth to the saying that actions speak louder than words, anyone who'll disagree with me is a real hypocrite. it's easy to blurt out thoughtful words of concern, but if it lacks in execution those words are just mere sounds thrown into the air.

one will also have to accept the fact that no one will truly understand what you are going through unless they experience the exact same thing both physically and emotionally, not only the feeling of pain but the whole scenario that leads to it. and we all know that it's merely impossible so it's just not right to say that one understands, that one knows.

i wouldn't want to post sad stories here as much as possible. but this one is just too heavy in the chest. i am happy with my life and i wouldn't trade it with anyone else. but everyday is beginning to be a torture for me, health wise. torture in a sense that i'd rather die or have my arms chopped off than have this undescribable feeling of strain. for someone having a high tolerance for pain, this is somewhat alarming. the fact that b knows my predicament, i was expecting for the longest time that he would drag me to the doctor. we actually had a conversation about this before but sadly, he never did. yesterday, i took the liberty to ask if i can go to the doctor, even if it means having a few PRECIOUS hours away from work because i just can't take it anymore. having bad experiences with doctors before, i'm just crossing my fingers that we'll be spending our hard earned cash on one that can actually treat me. my mind was set until this morning when he agreed to the thought that i'll just buy OTC vitamins that my parents suggested and postpone the trip to the doc and go back to the office.

if someone you love needs help and refuses to get one, wouldn't you be the one to do everything in your power to get the help that she needs, moreso if it's beginning to be a torture in her everyday life? thank you. you have proven what i've been thinking all along. business comes first. and i won't disagree. if not for it, we wouldn't get to experience the life we have now. i can still live with this, anyway, nothing major compared to what others are going through. you can bombard me with words saying otherwise, but you cannot change what's on my mind unless you do something to prove it. nevertheless, no matter what i think, the love does not change and will not change, so you need not worry about it.

simple actions, when done in recurrence will lead one to believe that those actions are inherent to that person's character, don't you agree?

genuine love. it extends beyond the feeling of happiness.